The Festive Season and Emotional Triggers: How to Stay Grounded and Supported

Claudia Roodt
Nov 10
4 min read

For many, the festive season is painted as a time of joy — families gathered around full tables, laughter spilling from open windows, and a sense of connection in the air. But for others, this time of year can feel like standing in the middle of a storm. The same gatherings that promise warmth and belonging can also stir up loneliness, grief, anxiety, or old wounds that we thought we had already healed.

And that’s the truth we don’t often talk about: the holidays can be deeply triggering.

Maybe it’s the absence of someone who used to be there.Maybe it’s the complicated family dynamics that resurface when everyone comes together.Or maybe it’s the weight of expectations — to be cheerful, to show up, to give more of yourself when you already feel empty.

Whatever it is, you’re not alone in feeling this way. And it doesn’t make you ungrateful, broken, or dramatic. It makes you human.

When Joy and Pain Coexist

A woman once shared in therapy that she dreaded Christmas every year — not because she didn’t love her family, but because she loved them too much. Growing up, her parents’ marriage was marked by tension and emotional withdrawal. Every Christmas, she felt like a peacekeeper, smoothing over conflicts, making sure everyone was okay, even if she wasn’t.

Now, decades later, those same patterns showed up in her adult life. The moment she walked into her parents’ home for the holidays, her body tensed. Her chest felt tight, her breath shallow — her nervous system remembering what her mind had long tried to forget.

This is how emotional triggers work. They’re not just memories; they’re felt experiences that live in the body. The smell of pine, the sound of a familiar song, the tone of a loved one’s voice — these can all ignite something deep within us.

Understanding this can help you approach yourself with compassion. When you notice that your body feels uneasy, it’s not betraying you — it’s reminding you that something still needs care.

The Power of Boundaries During the Holidays

One of the most loving things you can do for yourself this festive season is to set boundaries — not out of rejection, but out of protection.

Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re clarity. They define where you end and someone else begins.

That might mean saying:

“I won’t be able to attend every event this year.”
“I need to leave early if I start feeling overwhelmed.”
“Please don’t ask about my relationship or my plans for next year.”

Saying these things doesn’t make you difficult. It makes you safe — both for yourself and for those who genuinely care about you. Boundaries help us stay grounded when emotions rise. They create space for rest, peace, and authenticity — the very things we’re all seeking during this season.

Finding Safety in Regulation

The nervous system doesn’t know that it’s the holidays; it only knows safety or danger.

When you notice yourself feeling anxious, tense, or detached, you can use small, grounding practices to bring yourself back into the present:

Pause and breathe deeply — inhale for four counts, exhale for six.
Press your feet into the floor — feel the stability beneath you.
Hold something cool or textured in your hand to remind your body you’re here, not back in an old memory.
Take a walk outside — nature is one of the most effective regulators.

These aren’t small things. They’re ways of saying to your nervous system: “You’re safe now. You can rest.”

The Myth of the “Perfect” Holiday

Social media and advertising have convinced us that the festive season should be perfect — that happiness is measured by how full our homes are or how many gifts we buy. But the truth is, healing and peace often happen in quieter ways. It might look like choosing solitude when everyone else is gathering.It might look like crying when everyone else is celebrating.It might even look like forgiving yourself for not being where you thought you’d be this year.

There’s no right or wrong way to move through the holidays. The goal isn’t to perform happiness — it’s to find truth and tenderness in whatever this season brings for you.

Talking Helps

If the thought of the festive season makes your chest tighten or your mind race, it might be time to reach out. Talking to someone who can hold space for you — without judgment, without expectations — can make all the difference.

At Designed to Connect, we understand that the holidays can be both beautiful and hard. Our therapists offer a safe, grounded space where you can unpack what’s rising for you — whether it’s grief, exhaustion, loneliness, or simply the weight of being “okay” when you’re not.

Through gentle conversation, somatic awareness, and trauma-informed care, we help you reconnect with your body, regulate your emotions, and discover what safety feels like — not just during the holidays, but all year round.

You don’t have to carry everything alone. Sometimes healing begins not with joy, but with honesty.

A Final Thought on dealing with Festive Season Emotional Triggers

This festive season, may you give yourself permission to:

Rest when you’re tired.
Say no when you need to.
Cry when you feel sad.
Laugh when joy finds you unexpectedly.
And remember — you’re allowed to hold both gratitude and grief in the same heart.

Healing isn’t about avoiding the hard moments; it’s about learning to meet them with love and awareness. So, as the world rushes into celebration, may you choose stillness. May you choose gentleness. And may you remember: your peace is the greatest gift you can give yourself this year.